Ticked Off Tuesday

So, for the past few days I have hopped on the social networking bandwagon and posted daily in reference to something that I am thankful for. (Suck it, grammar police, I'm in no mood). Because trust me. I am definitely thankful for a lot a lot a lot of people and things. However, I am also a human and I am definitely a woman and I am ragin' today because:

1) I haven't been to the gym in a few days,
2) The political heat out there has me fired up, I suppose and
3) I worked a really long time yesterday and I need to vent somewhere before I blow up in the wrong place, today.

Thus, this post. I am dubbing it Ticked Off Tuesday because that sounds fun and it is of course critical for me to share this list, right?!

Below, please find a completely random, off-the-cuff and probably completely irrelevant list of stuff that is ticking me off today. Brace yourself and try not to be offended. Actually, be offended, because I don't give a fuuuuuuuuu.

- Last night, I tried to plug my phone charger into my phone. In the dark. This does not work and, rather than just make my lazy ass turn the light on first, I just laid there and grumbled and cursed and all that jazz. Seriously. You cannot find that tiny little slot in the dark and fit that tiny little plugger deal in, properly, in the dark. Get over it, self. Just. move. on.

- When I do not realize I have a papercut...until I use hand sanitizer.

- Drivers' overexcessive use of their brakes. REALLY PEOPLE IF YOU DIDN'T FOLLOW SO CLOSELY MAYBE YOU WOULD NOT HAVE TO USE THEM EVERY. EFFING. FIVE. SECONDS.

- Speaking of cars. Vanity plates. I really hate them. And those stupid, STUPID little stickers that are supposed to represent your family. I mean what the F. Nobody cares that you are QTSUZY or DAWGFAN or whatever the hell. I also don't give a turd's toenail that your husband likes to fish (because OMG LOOK THAT STICK FIGURE IS HOLDING A POLE OMG CUUUUTE!) or that you are obviously the mom (because look, you are wearing a DRESS in your little stick figure representation!!!) or that "BRYLEE" cheers and "JAYDEN" plays baseball, as clearly evidenced by the decals on your side window.

- Speaking of stupid ass names for kids. WHO NAMES THESE POOR KIDS?! I want to create and fill a position in hospitals that accepts or denies name choices. Kind of like how each state's Secretary of State Corporation Division approves or disapproves of corporation name choices. I'd sit there in my little office and be like, PSSHHHT NOPE. You cannot name your kid Ashley Sophia Sinclair. And NOPE, you cannot name your child Brittany and spell it B-R-Y-T-T-A-N-I-E. NOPE! You are not allowed to name your twin boys BOBBY and ROBBY because mother of pearl that is. the. same. name. REJECTED. Here's the birth certificate! DO IT OVER, SUBMIT AGAIN.

- When people pick their eye boogies in public. I mean, really? Would you pick your nose in front of me? Would you insert your pinky into your ear canal, twisty twist and pull out some wax for me? NO. So do not. DO NOT. pick your eye gunk in my presence AND THEN RUB IT ON YOUR PANTS. W. T. F.

- Empty TP rolls in community bathrooms. We all use this toilet and I do not want a surprise when I go to roll out some paper and you, special person, have conveniently left the cardboard tube from the last roll and failed to replace it. Were you raised in an actual barn?

- When people make their emergency your emergency. Probably, you should have organized yourself better. I'm over here doing that...so what is your damage?

- When people continue to call you after having left a voicemail. Um. You're going to have to give me more than 10 minutes to actually HEAR the first one, PROCESS your request, FIND the answer, and CALL YOU BACK A-HOLE.

- Unnecessary touching. No further explanation required.

So, okay. I feel better. Now that all of you are probably floored at my bitchiness... can you share anything that is ticking you off on this Tuesday? ;0)

Oh and please go vote today if you haven't already. If you don't, it will reallllly tick me off. ;0)