Medicine for my mind

I've been thinking a lot lately about my health. This is a topic that I ponder over on a fairly regular basis, especially now as I approach 30 (gasp!) and realize that NOW is a great time to make some long-term changes, if you will, to my habits.

The first things that come to mind when you think of health are probably nutrition and fitness. I mean those things when I say health, too, and fully intend to continue a good workout regimen as well as practicing healthier meal choices every day. However, what I really mean by health in this case is my MENTAL HEALTH. I'm working on strategies and developing ideas that would seek to improve my overall mental health - aka - Mind Medicine.

As a teenager/young adult, much like many others, I struggled. I was angry a lot. I was hateful at times. I was a big ol' ball of frightening hormones that was ready to explode at any moment. I was wild, silly, annoying probably, and just generally a hot mess from about, oh, let's say ages 14-19. Maybe even until 20. It wasn't until my 20s started that I became a bit more levelheaded and secure with myself enough so that all of those crazy moments became fewer and farther between. I settled more into myself, basically. Well, now I am 26, 27 come June, and I am definitely not that kid anymore. But I still find myself venturing back into a mindset that isn't all that healthy:

~ Am I "good" enough?
~ Do I "do" enough?
~ Where am I going?
~ Who am I?
~ Do I love me? Do I even like me?
~ Do I care what others think of me?
~ How can I be "better?"

These are all pretty negative questions one can ask herself. I would much rather not wonder these things, and just consider it a given that yes I AM good enough, yes I DO enough, and all of it. But no! Too many times I slip into a state of second-guessing and a complete lack of confidence. It's frustrating and I am sure quite normal but I absolutely want to be able to stand more sure-footed when I start to feel/think these things so that I stop slipping into that state.

Recently I decided to avoid certain social medias in order to provide myself with more "me" time. Basically I felt as though I was becoming too wrapped up in others' business and not focusing on my own. To avoid these outlets would allow me time to reflect and revise my own lifestyle a little bit. I've put in place a few new habits that have been helpful - i.e. trying to cut back on phone, computer, etc usage in the evenings so that my attention is on my husband and myself, only. It's amazing what that small change has done for us. More conversation. More adventure. More love, if that was even possible! :)

That's just one change. As stated above, I've also tried much harder to be more focused on traditional "health" changes - my diet, my activity level, etc. I've tried quiet reflection even, and have looked into meditation as a means for relaxation and clarity. I really feel this urge to just ease my mind on a more regular basis. With a stressful job and a fast-moving life, I think I owe it to myself. I think we all do.

We have to love ourselves first, after all, and I think I have been falling out of love with me.

To fix this issue will probably be a lifelong process, I'm sure. But I'm willing to take it on. I've been inspired lately by a cause that seems to be right in line with my thoughts. Incoming shameless linkage!!!!

So Worth Loving reminds me that (directly quoted from their site) "struggling with the unfair expectations put on you is something you don’t have to do alone.  [We are] "a community of people dedicated to spreading that message and helping empower people to pursue their dreams."

I mean, dead-on, right? I want to find the person behind So Worth Loving and give them a giant high-five for putting this message out there for everyone. It's one we've all thought to ourselves but they have made it a brand, a name, a concept that is being NOTICED. It's inspiring and fantastic and I just love that there are people on this earth determined to make it a better place. Go buy their merch. Go read the stories. Go feel better.

I sure am trying.